Underscoring the government’s total failure to understand the root causes of America’s drug epidemic, Illinois Attorney General Lisa (not Amy) Madigan has threatened to sue the makers of Meth Coffee citing “the devastating impact that methamphetamine has had” in that State.

I have never tasted this coffee, do not know the owners of this company and don’t really care for the branding; however, I find the ridiculously simplified concept of children turning to methamphetamine after drinking a cup of “Meth Coffee” or seeing “glorious” Meth-branded marketing materials as absurd as if they were running out to try heroin after watching the musical RENT. Arguably, Broadway musicals are a far more dangerous threat.

Using this same anti-scientific logic, perhaps the Attorney General should consider the Meth Coffee brand as a positive force; inspiring Illinois methamphetamine addicts to put down their pipes in favor of a tasty legal alternative in a cup. Ah ha! Bet that she didn’t think of that.

Rather than admitting that her constituents should take responsibility for raising their families (or having families in the first place), or for becoming active members of their community to develop positive social networks or supporting education initiatives and social programs to allow future opportunities, Ms. Madigan feels that it is best to attack an American business over a branding campaign that does not meet her personal tastes.

For the last time: rock bands do not make children commit suicide, video games do not cause violence, and distasteful coffee marketing campaigns will not turn children to drugs, only coffee. And for the record, I have never dropped an anvil on anyone’s head, despite it seeming very enticing in all of those cartoons.

Tasteful marketing campaigns for sugar-packed soft drinks WILL, however, add to the already spiraling rate of child obesity that now kills hundreds of thousands of Americans annually — maybe that would be a better place to invest your time and taxpayers’ dollars.

CHICAGO (USA) – In a letter sent this week to Doll God, Attorney General Lisa Madigan asked that the company immediately cease all marketing and sales of Meth Coffee in the Illinois, citing the devastating impact that methamphetamine has had there. Madigan warned she’ll sue if necessary to stop sales.

The coffee is the latest drink with a name that sounds like a drug but isn’t. Meth Coffee went on the market in January, sold online at US$12 per 10-ounce bag of beans. The product is marketed as an illicit drug and claims that it has been roasted by a “master druggist.” Its Web site features images of syringes and addicts. The San Francisco manufacturer bills itself as a “rebel coffee company” and the brainchild of a “self-styled anarchist, coffee addict and conspiracy theorist known only as the roaster.”

“Methamphetamine production and addiction have inflicted severe damage on communities throughout our state,” said Madigan in a statement. “As part of our fight against this dangerous drug, we have been working extensively to make sure that young people are not enticed to try it.”

Madigan said the product violates the Illinois Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act and the Illinois Consumer Fraud and Deceptive Business Practices Act.